7 Things To Remember When Social Media Makes You Feel Insecure About Yourself

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Does scrolling through Instagram ever make you feel like everyone has their life all figured out but you?

Or maybe everyone is having more fun than you are?

Like their life is a party 24/7 and yours definitely does not feel like a party.

So, why does this happen? Because it’s really easy to pull out your phone and start scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, email, etc.

Have you ever noticed how many times you take out your phone a day, to “check” something but not really?

Y’know what I’m talking about. When you know you don’t have any new notifications, but you go and check anyway “just in case” even though you looked like your phone 5 minutes ago.

Not judging because I do this all the time, too.

The problem is if you’re spending most of your day looking at other people’s lives, chances are you aren’t really living your own and it’s going to leave you feeling insecure about yourself.

Because we live in a world where we want to show other people our best selves and nothing else, which let’s be honest, isn’t always reflective of reality.

So, what’s the solution?


How to deal with social media insecurity: 7 Things To Remember


1. Social media is heavily staged and edited.

Do you know how much time goes into putting together a really good picture? A lot.

You have to take into consideration of the time driving to the location, the outfits, the poses, etc. Not to mention the idea itself.

Some people take their Instagram game more seriously than others, but when you see a really good picture of someone / something that you like, remember that they had to work for it.

Because even after taking the photos, they had to go through and pick all the photos that looked okay, edited them, plan them (spending time on an Instagram scheduler like Later or Plann), caption them, and schedule them.

All of that doesn’t come magically.

And doing it well? Well, that takes even more time, effort, and practice.


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2. You only see what others want to show you.

Most people aren’t going to show you “the bad photos”.

  • The ones where their eyes are closed and they look angry.
  • The ones where they don’t like how their arms look.
  • The ones where the lighting is bad.

It’s not that they don’t get those photos, too. It’s just that you don’t share those photos with you.

You have to remember that people go to places, do activities, eat at certain restaurants, etc. just to put them on Instagram.

Some people think this is stupid, but I don’t.

It’s just another preference. You prefer to do certain things so your photos will turn out better.

Just like how people exercise so they feel better and get their endorphins running.

I do, however, think we should all share more non-highlight reels with each other, just to remind each other and ourselves that our lives don’t have to be one highlight reel after the other.

  • To remind ourselves that it’s not the end of the world if we’re having a bad day.
  • To remind ourselves that sometimes things don’t turn out the way we planned.
  • To remind ourselves that everyone feels the same emotions we do and we’re not a failure.

Which is also why I share so many vulnerable posts on my Instagram. (LINK)


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3. You can’t know someone’s entire life just from social media, even if they’re constantly on there.

It’s easy to feel like you know someone after a while, especially if they’re always posting and sharing their life.

But even then, you don’t know their entire life. You don’t know everything about them - what goes on in their family life, relationship, career, etc.

  • What goes on in their minds.
  • What emotions they’re feeling.
  • What thoughts they’re having.

Maybe they’re feeling insecure about themselves too, but they don’t tell or show you.

It’s easy to feel like other people have it all.

  • They have a big following.
  • They’re always posting pretty pictures of themselves in stylish clothes.
  • They’re always going to new places and their food looks amazing.

You start to wonder where you went wrong with your life.

And you start to have all these thoughts about whether you’re “good enough”.

And the answer is yes, you are enough.

Just because someone else feels good about themselves doesn’t mean you can’t feel good about yourself, too.

By the way, you don’t need to have a pretty Instagram feed or pretty Facebook photos to feel good about yourself.

You can admire someone else’s beauty without questioning your own.


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4. Social media will always be there. Take breaks when needed.

When the insecurity and self-doubt starts to creep in, that’s when you know you need a break.

It’s time to stop looking at everyone else living their best life, and it’s time for you to start living your best life.

If you notice yourself becoming reactive and doing things as a result of someone else’s actions or words, allow yourself to unplug and step back.

You may experience social media withdrawals when you take a break, but trust me, unplugging from social media once in a while does wonders for your mind, body, and soul.

It reminds you that life isn’t all about social media.

And that there’s life outside of social media.

P.S. This isn’t me bashing on social media, because you can ask anyone. I love the Internet and I love social media, but it can mess with your head and sanity sometimes.

Taking care of yourself and putting yourself first is important.


5. Practice unconditional self-love and awareness.

If you love yourself unconditionally, there’s no reason to feel insecure as a result of social media.

Because you choose to love yourself regardless of how other people choose to live and what they say or do.

Regardless of who they are or where they are. (I mean, we’ve all experienced that travel envy before, right? Just me?)

It’s all about being able to be happy for other people while living our life.

Because isn’t it a good thing if other people are happy with their lives?

And it doesn’t really affect us if they’re just pretending to, to keep up a front.

Learn to live your own life, without comparing it to someone else’s. After all, life isn’t a competition or race.
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6. Ask yourself why social media makes you feel insecure.

(This may be the most important point, so I’m not sure why I put this last. Saving the most important for last, I guess?)

To really resolve something, it’s essential to get to the root of the problem. It’s not enough to just put a bandage over it and call it a day, because it’s going to come up over and over again until you address it and face it head on.

What emotions, feelings, and thoughts come up for you when you scroll through your Instagram feed? Where is the insecurity coming from?

Be honest with yourself.

If something is coming up for you, there’s a reason why.

When we challenge ourselves to think deeper and more critically, we grow.

And if you find that you need help, then ask for help. 


It’s not about cutting social media out of your life altogether.

Be honest with yourself and ask yourself why social media is negatively impacting your self-esteem. 

Is it because you base your self-worth on social media and what other people think of you?

Regardless of what society’s beliefs are, you don’t need vanity metrics or other people’s approval to feel “worthy”.

You are worthy the moment YOU decide you are worthy, because the only opinion that really matters here is yours.

The goal is to not base your opinion not what others think, say, or believe. 


I’d love to hear from you.

Have you ever felt insecure because of spending too much time on social media? If so, what did you do to resolve it?



Hi there! I'm Molly, the founder of Wholehearted Woman. I help women show up online in a way that looks good and feels good too. 

Be the voice you needed to hear when you were younger and share your story. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable, because it could change someone's life. 

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