How I Took Control Of My Own Life And Started Loving Myself
I remember the day so clearly. Sitting on my break at work, on the phone with my dad.
I had asked for help with rent that month.
Not for the first time that year.
Understandably, my dad was less than happy with me. And I will never forget the moment he asked the question that changed my life:
“Don’t you want control over your own life?”
That hit me like a ton of bricks. I can still hear his voice saying it.
I had not realized that my life wasn’t under control. I was being treated as “just a rent check” (something else dad pointed out that I had been thinking, but hadn’t yet acknowledged) by my roommates at the time, I was barely making rent, and basically unsure of a lot of things.
And I definitely wasn’t being self-loving or self-positive.
I believed that anything I wanted or dreamed of having was so far out of reach that I would never have it. And because I believed that, I was right.
I believe in the universe, and I believe that the universe will back you up in your beliefs - whether they are positive or negative.
This was the lowest point in my life and I became determined to get myself out of it.
One night I was laying in bed watching Netflix and scrolling through Pinterest when quotes about positivity popped up. I don’t remember specifically the one or ones that set me on a mission to find more and more but I started a positivity board on the spot and started searching for and saving every positive quote I could find that made me feel better.
And eventually, quotes from the book The Secret started coming across my feed. I had always thought that that book was about some religion or secret society or something, and I had never checked it out. But now all of a sudden here it was and it was relative to my life.
The Secret is The Law of Attraction. And I started researching The Law of Attraction from a place of “What the heck is this?” just out of natural curiosity. It absolutely explained how I had gotten to where I was at the time.
And that’s how my life changed almost overnight.
I ordered The Law of Attraction and The Vortex by Abraham-Hicks from Amazon and devoured them both within the week of receiving them. I read The Secret.
Suddenly, everything was about energy and vibration and I started realizing that I had created my life exactly the way it was at the time because of the beliefs I held then. Beliefs about myself, about what I deserved or didn’t deserve, and ultimately how I felt about myself.
Which wasn’t very good.
One of the most important parts of utilizing the LOA in our favor is self-love, self-compassion, self-acceptance, and self-positivity. Worthiness. I felt unworthy for a really long time and it took some time to change it.
But I changed it.
I made decisions about what I wanted (my own place, my soulmate, financial freedom) and I went after it.
I have now manifested two out of three of my biggest desires (my own place, my soulmate) and I’m still working on financial freedom (though I have more money now than I did then), but I have faith that I will get there.
These days I make it a priority to make sure that my energy and vibration are positive. I now have more control over my life then I did four years ago during that conversation with my dad.
Now I make self-love and self-care a priority.
And THAT is the best act of self-love you can ever do.
Bex Christian is a student and teacher of the law of attraction and self love, and is an aspiring coach, desiring to help other women break out of the downward spiral of negative self belief. She is currently working as a Starbucks Barista and Virtual Assistant, while she trains as a coach. She believes that anyone can change their lives at any time - they only have to decide to do so.
She has a Bachelor's degree in English from Salem College in Winston-Salem, NC and has studied at Oxford University, England, UK.
She is a Veteran of the United States of Air Force.
She loves spending time with her boyfriend and kitty cat, her friends and family, and loves Netflix, adult coloring, writing, reading, and science fiction.
She believes in the magic of the impossible.