How To Love Yourself: 4 Things You Can Start Doing Today
Do you ever get tired of hating yourself? Growing up, I was conditioned to believe that my body wasn’t good enough, which I often took as - I wasn’t good enough.
But today, I can confidently say that I am good enough and I love myself unconditionally. I’m going to share with you 4 things you can start doing today to start loving yourself more, because yes - you are worth loving.
If you struggle with self-love and find that it’s affecting your life on a daily basis, then this is for you.
Just a few years ago, I absolutely hated myself and affected not only me but everyone around me as well.
Today, I can genuinely say I love myself unconditionally (not all the time, but most of the time) and that’s because I practiced these 4 things that I’m going to share with you today.
Here are 4 things you can start doing today to love yourself more:
1. Take away the conditions.
What do I mean when I say conditions? I mean don’t add anything after “I love myself.”
Instead of saying, “I’ll love myself when…”, “I would love myself more if…”, or “I love myself but…”, just say “I love myself” because that’s really all you need.
You don’t need anyone else’s approval.
You don’t need to lose 10 pounds first.
You don’t need to justify yourself to anyone.
Also, you can love who you are while working on becoming who you want to be.
So it’s not choosing one or the other. It’s just choosing yourself. You love yourself in the past and who you’ll be in the future, but the important thing is that you love and create space for yourself right now. In this moment.
The next time you find yourself staying, “I’ll love myself when I lose 10 pounds”. Stop. Remember you are every bit worth loving right now, in this moment.
2. Watch your language and the things you say about yourself.
Have you ever heard of the saying by Gandhi, “Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.”?
Watch your words and what you say to yourself, because that will become your destiny.
I spent almost two decades hating myself and over two decades doubting myself - so while I didn’t hate myself anymore, I still spent a couple of years after that doubting myself.
Why? Because of the things I said to myself on a daily basis.
So what changed? The words I said to myself.
Also, be mindful of what you said about others as well. Because when we say in a judgmental or negative way about others, we’re really reflecting and showing how we truly feel about ourselves and the world.
If you want to love yourself more, stop hating how much you hate your arms or thighs or whatever it is, which brings me to my next point...
3. Focus on what you do love about yourself.
Instead of focusing on what you don’t like about yourself, focus on the things you do love about yourself.
I’m going to be honest with you. I can’t believe I’m actually saying this on video, but… I don’t like my triceps. I use to call them “bat wings” which has a negative connotation to it.
On days when I focus on the parts I don’t like about myself, I don’t feel great which impacts all other areas of my life which raises the question: “What do you gain out of beating yourself up?” (Answer: More reasons to hate yourself. Also probably a bit of shame and guilt.)
But when I start to focus on things I DO love about myself like my hair, the way I feel when I wear dresses (which is also why you’ll see me in a dress in most of my photos), my personality, empathy, the ability to connect on a deeper level with people, etc., I feel good.
And when you feel good about loving parts of yourself?
You start loving the other parts of yourself, too.
And like I said in point 1, you just love yourself. That’s it. That’s all there is to it.
A choice to love yourself, over and over again, which leads me to my 4th point…
4. Choose yourself on a daily basis.
When you spend so many years hating yourself, self-love does not happen overnight.
It took me years to love myself unconditionally.
Self-love is choosing yourself on a daily basis, even when it’s hard. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it feels easier to hate yourself. Even when other people give you a hard time.
It’s choosing yourself over everything else. Again and again
Simply put, it’s putting yourself first. And putting yourself might not come naturally to you… it might even feel weird, but if you do it enough times, it will be your new normal.
It’s putting your own happiness, sanity, and love first. You’re basically saying to yourself, “I am worthy. I am loved.”, which you are.
There will be a lot of emotions and feelings that will surface. Doubt, shame, worry, hope, inspiration, etc. Feel them and then let the ones that are not serving to go. Allow yourself the space to forgive, heal, and love again.
And for the times that will come when you’re wondering why you’re not “there” yet and you’re questioning yourself whether all this inner deep work is even worth it, know that it is. And you will get there, but remember that it doesn’t happen overnight and that there’s nothing wrong with you.
This isn’t a race or a competition, so embrace where you are in your own journey.
Remember to give yourself time and space. Self-love isn’t something you learn overnight or even in a month, especially when you’ve spent years and maybe even decades hating yourself. I’ve been there, and I remember what it’s like.
But I’m also here to tell you that life doesn’t have to be like that for you. It is possible to have a healthy, amazing relationship with yourself.
Share in the comments below: What was your biggest takeaway from this video, and which of these will you start doing TODAY?
Molly Ho is a branding and graphic designer for photographers and creative entrepreneurs. Her mission is to help you create a brand that will give your dream clients the confidence and clarity they need to hire you.
She believes in being (and becoming) the kind of person you want to see more of in the world, because change starts with you. And you have the power and capacity to become the person you want to be.
On the blog, she talks about topics including branding, marketing, social media, body image, and personal development.
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