The Making Of Wholehearted Woman: What Comes With Being Vulnerable
Wholehearted Woman was built on vulnerability, trust, community, and from the heart and soul. It was built from an idea that planted its roots years ago, but also with the help of some amazing ladies in our FB group that encouraged me from the beginning.
I believe in the power of never giving up on your dreams, even if it takes 5 years. 10 years. Or even 20 years. It doesn’t matter how long it takes; if you have one, it’s worth pursuing. Even if it’s a side thing. Even if it’s something you can only work on for 10 minutes a day. Because the truth is that we’re all on this planet for a limited amount of time and we should do the things our hearts and souls desire and crave for most.
I also believe that everything that has happened in my life thus far has brought me to this point. Every experience was a lesson and an opportunity to learn from.
OUR LIFE EXPERIENCES ARE what we choose to make them.
We can see them as evil and horrible things that happened to us, or we can choose to learn from it. We can choose to acknowledge them for what they are and use those experiences to create a better and brighter future for ourselves.
My dream has always been to help others, thought to be completely honest, I’m not sure why. Maybe because I know there are many, many people out there who are less fortunate than me. Or because I know what it’s like to feel completely alone in a room full of people. I know what it’s like to hate every fiber and being of your body as a little girl, teenager, and young adult. I know what it’s like to try and hold in your tears until you find a safe place to let it all out.
I do not know everyone’s struggle,
but I do know everyone has a struggle of their own.
When we choose to block out our pain, we also block out our pleasure and happiness in the process. There is no choosing which moments you get to experience or not experience. You either choose to experience all of them or you miss out. I know what it’s like to miss out, and I also know what it’s like to experience it all. There have been months of my life when I felt completely numb and unable to feel. No desire for food or to talk to others. And then times when I feel everything.
Vulnerability is a gift.
A very brave and beautiful thing to be, but also equally terrifying.
Because we know what rejection feels like, and it doesn’t feel good.
We have fears and reservations about speaking our truth. About showing and sharing with others how we’re truly feeling. To put it all out there, because once you do, you can’t take the words, feelings, and emotions back. To speak your truth and know that you might be judged for it.
We feel like we have to constantly defend and justify our actions. I do this quite a lot. I can write you a whole novel about why I choose to do or to not do something. In fact, I can probably write you ten novels about it.
As someone who has struggled with her body most of her life, there is an overwhelming need to explain everything to you. Why I choose not to lose weight. Why I choose to listen to my body and eat intuitively. Why I choose to love myself even though my body is nowhere near acceptable in the eyes of society. Why I choose to start Wholehearted Woman.
So anytime being vulnerable comes into play, fear and resistance come knocking down my door.
“Am I repeating my stories? Are people getting sick of me? Am I even helping anyone? Am I just talking in gibberish?"
I worry that I’m not good enough, not because I need other people’s validation. I have learned long ago that it is not other people’s validation that I seek, but my own.
And the truth is? I have yet to give it to myself.
But then I think… it’s okay if I’m not ready yet. It’s okay if I’m imperfect and flawed.
Maybe that’s the point.
If I can’t bravely and authentically show up as myself, then well, I’ve missed the whole point. Because how can I encourage others to be themselves when it is not something I am able to do myself? How can I tell others that sharing their stories and being vulnerable is a gift when it is something I am not willing to do?
The change we want to see in the world starts with us.
As the amazing Brené Brown says, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”
The heart and soul matters. Passion and purpose matters. Authenticity, connection, and trust matters. These things matter, and the world needs more of it.
In a world full of judgment, hatred, gossip, and negativity, the world needs more of this.
But it is also important to recognize that vulnerability often comes with a price. The price of rejection and of unsolicited judgment. The price of people questioning who you are, your worth, and your value. The price of possibility having your heart broken and aching.
When we choose to go deep into our hearts and souls, we’ll realize that there is something beautiful and magical there.
But sometimes, it gets lonely down there too, because not many people choose to go there. It’ll be an experience you’ll want to tell everyone about, but very few will understand.
Do not be afraid of vulnerability. At first, everything will seem like a hot mess you didn’t want to deal with. And then it will set you free.
With vulnerability comes freedom and peace.
We can spend the rest of our lives in hiding and no one would blink an eye. Hiding our stories, our voices, our passions, and our hearts. You'll be safe from other people's rejection and judgment, but in the midst of it all, you keep your heart hidden and your walls up. And trust me, that's no way to live.
Share with me in the comments below: What comes up for you when you're being vulnerable?
Photo Source: Elizabeth Tsung, Unsplash
Hi there! I'm Molly, the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Wholehearted Woman. A storyteller, introvert, self-love advocate, and multi-passionate creative with big dreams and even bigger fears. I help women find their voice, share their stories, and authentically embrace who they are.
You can read more about me and my mission here.
P.S. JOIN THE #WHOLEHEARTEDWOMAN COMMUNITY
Wholehearted Woman is always looking for women who are ready to show up and share their stories with an honest heart. Click here to learn more about how you can submit your story.