Why Do We Insist On Doing Everything Ourselves?
Growing up and being an introvert, I love doing things myself. My favorite teachers were the ones that always gave out individual assignments and projects, and my least favorite classes were the ones that had a group project every other week.
So yeah, I’m a bit of a control freak.
But… there’s only so much we can do on our own.
Our time, energy, and attention span are all limited resources. And doing everything by yourself is not the most effective way to get things done or to move forward in your life.
Actually, it’s not effective at all.
So why are we so hesitant to ask for help? To even admit that we need help?
We think we have to do everything on our own, but we don’t.
Maybe you want to prove that you can do it all on your own. That you can make it as a one woman show, but why? Who are we trying to prove that to? Ourselves?
How many times have you burned yourself out this way? (Because I have many, many times.)
Plus, isn’t it lonely to be all on your own? I mean, I love “me time” as much as the next person, but sometimes, I love hearing “me too” and just connecting with someone. Knowing that someone else understands my struggles, my dreams, my vision. And that I understand theirs too.
Knowing that we can help each other move forward and lift each other up.
Someone else’s success doesn’t take away from our own.
I think some of us were taught to believe growing up that there are so many spots available. And once those spots are gone, they’re gone forever.
But that’s not true.
There is more room for you at the table. At any table. Whether you want to become a blogger or a lawyer or a dancer, there’s room for you.
We can all work together and lift one another up. We can all be better, together. And when you’re sitting at the table, invite someone to sit next to you. I’m sure we all remember when it feels like to enter that large cafeteria room and wonder if your friends are there.
Make the newcomer feel welcomed - no one likes to feel alone at the lunch table.
(Related: 12 Ways We Can Support Other Women)
Lend out a hand and help others.
Whenever I meet a new creative whether it’s online or in real life, I tell them about the FB groups I’m in and about the places online where they can other empowering women just like them.
Because why not?
We were all new at one point, and it can be hard to find your people. Sometimes, it feels like going to a new school and feeling like everyone already has their set group of friends.
I don’t believe in doing things for other people expecting something in return, but I do believe that if you help others when you can and provide value, someone will end up helping you. What goes around comes around, right?
When we work together, we can get more done. Better and faster.
Being a one woman show is great, because you get out of your comfort zone and stretch yourself to learn new things. But learning how to work with other people (and well) is even better, because you can make a bigger and better impact.
Everyone has their own skill set, strengths and weaknesses, and way of looking at things.
I’m in this free mastermind where we meet on Wednesdays every week and talk about how other businesses are going. And I love how we can bounce ideas back and forth with one another and someone else can point something out or throw in a few more ideas or just hear the concept from another perspective.
The journey is already lonely enough; let’s not make it harder on ourselves by isolating ourselves even more.
Be the first one to say hi. Go on a coffee date, or better yet, schedule a time to go work together in a coffee shop somewhere. Help other women when you can. Ask for help when you need it.
We don’t have to sit at the lunch table alone.
(Related: Wholehearted Wednesdays interview series)